Monday, November 10, 2014

Love That Lasts

I found a beautiful new book called; "Love That Lasts" By the Lundburg Couple- Joy and Gary.  I have really enjoyed it thus far.

Here is a list they cite in their book, about ways to reconnect with your spouse. They are mainly questions which can be gone over together, and answered by each party, without interruption or correction from the other. The goal is to spark deep, meaningful conversation that is peaceful and happy, and find new ways to have fun together. To contemplate on what about your spouse makes you content, and what things you are thankful for regarding past experiences you've had with your spouse.

I was also thinking that some fun Couple Games could be played with this list. Like putting the questions in a hat or a jar and picking one, and answering it about your spouse and vice versa.

1.Where did you first see each other?  How did you get introduced?

2.  When you first met what attracted you to your spouse?.

3.  What caused you to ask for the first date?

4. What feelings did you have when you first kissed?

5. What were the most endearing acts or words that made you realize that this relationship was intended to be a lasting one?


6. What Physical Features do you love most about your spouse?

7. Which of your spouse’s charachteristics brings you the greatest feeling of security or comfort?

8. What charachteristic has his or her  brought from their childhood family to your  home, for which you are grateful?

9.  What is at least one area of knowledge or expertise which has been improved by your association with your spouse?

10. When was a time, when you felt especially close to your spouse?

11. What were your most fun and memorable dates during courtship?

12. What activities would you enjoy doing now for a fun date?

13. If you could have a day alone together, how would you want to spend it?

14.What could you do to make your next Anniversary Celebration fun and memorable?

What Does Your Spouse Like?

1.     Food, Main Dish(es)?   
2.     Meal?    
3.     Dessert?
4.     Beverage?
5.     Candy?


Category: Movies

Favorite Type of Movies

Favorite Actor/Actress(es)

Music

What Type of Music?

What Song is their Favorite?

What Singer or Band is their Favorite?

Category: Sports

Type?

Team?

Player(s)


Category: Relaxation

Meditation?

Prayer?

Nap?

Reading?

Writing?

Hiking?

Dancing?

Listening to Music?

Singing?


Favorite TV Show(s)

Favorite Category of Books

Favorite Books or Series

Favorite Writers or Authors


Hobbies and Interests

What does your spouse love to do?

Favorite Car?

Favorite Flower(s)?

Favorite Color(s)?









Friday, November 7, 2014

Education

Well, October is over and it's coming up on November 8! I will admit, I am pretty good at posting family photos on certain social media outlets, but, I have been craving and yearning to write for quite a while now. My spouse works 30-40 hour weeks and I stay home with our child. My Spouse also goes to night school, one night a week- and I find that while he has our computer, I feel like i get withdrawals from writing and blogging. This has led me to think that there is quite a bit I could do from home while watching my child, teaching him, and helping him with school work and home work. I need to find a balance of family, work and play. And I hope to find it very soon. I've not always been a stay at home Mom. And, to those of you who know me, if you know Homemakers- we don't stay home all day every day. While my son was out of school for the past 2 weeks I took him on lots of outdoor Adventures, so we can learn while it is still warm enough to go outside, and still have fun.

My son in July 2014


I have been realizing lately, how much I love to learn. I am a Lifelong Learner. I enjoy school very much and plan to get a Master's someday, when it is more convenient for our family. I would like to become a Teacher both in Elementary and Middle Schools; and maybe someday Higher Education. I deeply enjoy Education.

I taught middle school last year as a Teacher's Aide. That is where I found out how challenging, and how rewarding Education can be. I was a Teacher's Aide at a Local Middle School where I helped a Special Education Teacher and her Students. These Students were all over the map both; cognitively and behaviorally. I loved working with them, and helping them learn, and letting them know how their safety is our priority in Education. I won't say that everything went smoothly, because no class ever does, but- there was so much I learned from every single experience and event that happened in that classroom. I used to work in Daycares years ago, and I can tell you from my experience as a Caregiver, who's worked in several Daycare Centers and worked in Schools- a place where Education and safety of the child is the Primary Focus is so much better for most children.

As a Mother, I can tell you that the kind of ratios you have with your children, a 1 on 1 learning environment or a 2 on 1 learning environment- are most likely, not going to happen in a Daycare Setting, and probably not in an Education Setting either. Homeschooling is a wonderful choice to be available for every family, it is not for every family though.

 My child is currently in a Public School System. I work with him at home to help him reinforce and retain what he is learning at school. We do Math Bingo, Spanish Bingo, Word Bingo, Sight Words, I let him choose books at the library he loves and he reads them to me. We also encourage him to read from the Holy Bible and other Holy Scriptures Daily. It helps a lot. He is now into SpongeBob Square Pants Books, and Fly Guy Books. He reads signs when we are driving in the car, and not just the road signs, but restaurant signs, advertisements, and anything he wants to read that he sees. I let him help me cook and he eats a little better when I let him help me make the meal, some of the time. 

In the mean time, I hope to find something that will help our Family and its financial needs, and not a selling make-up scam, or toys or hair accessories or books, or online writing for sites which don't pay. Chelsea

Monday, October 6, 2014

Notes from LDS General Conference

Just as a preface for the Reader's Information, some of these writings are direct quotes from LDS General Conference. Some of them are not. Many of my thoughts and feelings are also intertwined with what was said by Our Church Leaders. While there may be some lines and pages which were written as what was said in Conference, I cannot guarantee, that the quotes are all the same as what was spoken; or not mixed with my thoughts, impressions, or feelings on the subjects being spoken about. Keep in mind that my written feelings may be different, and in a completely different context with what was spoken about this last weekend. That being said, I hope that my notes help you and I to ponder about what we were taught recently.


President Monson

In the Spirit world we decided to come to mortality, the primary purposes to obtain a body of flesh and bones, to see if we would keep the commandments. And we will prove them herewith to see if they will do all things the lord shall command them.

We brought with us our agency from Heaven. We are privileged to choose for ourselves. We differentiate good and evil learn that decisions determine destiny.
God sent us here with direction and guidance and the tools we need, as we seek his help and strive to do all we can to gain eternal life. We have the words of God to help guide us. We have the counsel and teachings of God Prophets. The example of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Come follow me, works which ye hath seen me do, that shall ye be also. Jesus marked the way and the path. We look to Jesus as our Savior and Exemplar. As we follow in his footsteps we can gain entrance to heaven to live with him forever.

Walking  where Jesus walked is less important than walking AS Jesus walked.  All of us can walk the path he walked with his words ringing in our ears, his spirit filling our hearts and his teachings guiding our path. I am the way the truth and the Life. 

The path Jesus walked took him through paths of disappointment, his lament over Jerusalem. The children of Israel had rejected the wing of his guidance. He feels deep sorrow and anguish. 

Jesus walked the path of temptation from Lucifer, the devil. The devil tempted him fasted 40 days and 40 nights, he resisted each temptation. Get thee hence Satan.

Jesus walked the path of pain. None could forget his suffering on the cruel cross and the Garden of Gethsemane.

The Devil should tempt the children of men, or they could not be agents unto themselves. We learn in mortality great pain and suffering and sorrow, but we can also find great happiness.

We with Jesus can walk the path of obedience. To obey is better than to sacrifice.

It will not always be easy.
Jesus brought strength to the crippled. Sight to the blind.


His prayer in Gethsemane; not my will but thine be done. Read and Study the Holy Scriptures; be merciful, humble, prayerful, and righteous in heart. God asks us to let our lights shine so that others may desire to know our father in heaven.

 Christ teaches us to be morally clean in both our thoughts and our actions. His parables teach with power and authority. Teaches us to love our neighbors. Go to the rescue of those who have left the path and lost the way. Strive to follow Christ by following his teachings and walk the path he walked. Do his work as his disciples, no other choice we can make, can make us what he can.

To see and share some General Conference Quotes with Uplifting Pictures go here;http://www.ldsmag.com/article/1/14982

To watch LDS General Conference, Or Listen go here; https://www.lds.org/general-conference/sessions/2014/10?lang=eng

L Tom Perry

Life has good & bad
Gospel sure foundation
Knowledge of the lord's eternal plan
We follow the Savior

Come unto me and i will give you rest
My peace i give unto you
You shall receive power
You shall rejoice

Look to Jesus and live and find lasting peace
We fix our eyes on Christ truly and currently is the Savior and Redeemer of the world

Wheat & Tares
Where did the tares come from? An enemy
The Tares and Wheat Grow together
Gather the tares and burn them
Then reap the wheat

Tares Wicked and worldly ways
Through the air, the devices for education
The tares will have no appeal to the eye of the ear
Enter in by the way and receive the holy ghost it will tell you all things that we should do.

Disintegration of the family bring only sorrow and sadness
Deterioration of family values
Prophets have forewarned
Our homes must be holy places
Greatest blessings come to righteous families and parents
Most powerful teaching come from righteous fathers and mothers

The influence she has on her children
We cannot begin to measure of a woman who builds stable family life for generations of the future. Do all they can to strengthen the home.

Fathers- Give blessings
Build Family Traditions &
Vacations
Teach children gospel principles
The value of work
Set examples of work
Fathers is their most sacred calling

Which is more important?
Prayers or fruit

Spirit of Sacrifice
Ever Stronger Reliance on the teachings of the Lord and Savior

We need righteous parents
Gospel of Jesus Christ is a sure foundation building eternal family units

Richard G Scott
1. Prayer
Make time every day to share your thoughts and feelings with him
Father in heaven will never force you to pray
Your heart will begin to feel peace when you pray fervently

Parents Safeguard your children by arming them morning and night with family prayer 
Family prayer should be a non negotiable part of every day life

2. Study the scriptures daily with your children
Choose to take time to read your scriptures
You need to study in the scriptures with your family

3. Weekly Family Home Evening
One night a week
As a Family
The time invested the Gospel should be taught formally & informally in a safe environment to strengthen family bonds- to talk to each other to strengthen your relationships.
4. Go to the Temple
No more peaceful place in this earth than in the Lord's Temple
Don't let anyone or anything prevent you from being there
Pray and listen to the spirit there
Providing your own family names in the temple

Peace comes from his atoning sacrifice

Sister Carol FMcConkie


Prophets are messengers of Christ
Authorize the performance of saving ordinances
Our prophet reveals the word of the lord 
The lord commands us; His word shalt thou receive as it is from the Lord's Mouth.

Church Leaders;
Speak & Prophecy of the Word of the Lord
The Lord has spoken whether by my own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same. God reveals his work through his servants.

When we choose to live on the covenant path we are happier. 

Russell M Nelson

Sustain A Prophet

It is an important duty to do so not only, by the lifting of the hand but in deed and in truth.

Elder Kimball was operated on by Elder Nelson
By God's Will ( not only the Doctors hands) were able to heal and protect President Kimball who only a few months after the surgery became President of the Church.
The restoration shattered the age old myth that God has stopped talking to his children.

Sustaining Prophets and other leaders 
Invoke the law of common consent that the someone has the correct authority
Gives us confidence and faith

All leaders in the Lord's Church are called by the Proper Authority
No prophet has ever been elected
No prophet has ever chosen himself

Man's ways remove people from office when they are old or get sick. God's ways are not, and will never be man's ways.

We will do our utmost to do what they ( our Prophet and prophets, seers and revelators) say and teach.

The obligation that we make when we raise our hands is a most sacred one, it means that we will stand behind him, we will pray for him and defend his name and strive to carry out his instructions. 

Sustaining the Prophet & prophets, seers and revalators. Decisions of these leaders must be unanimous. These 15 men know what the will of the Lord is when unanimity is reached. Thy will be done on earth as it in heaven. 

The church has been organized by the Lord himself. He has put in place redundancy and back up. Counter balances & safe guards abound so that no one man can ever lead the church astray. 


Jeffrey R. Holland

Jesus was homeless
For much of his adult life
The Physical effects of Homelessness we see clearly
The Spiritual and emotional damage of homelessness do untold damage

Jehovah would judge the house harshly
The spoil of the needy is in your faces
Look to the poor and needy that they shall not suffer

Her work was about love not statistics
Serving those within her reach
Cease withholding our means because we think they have caused their own homelessness

We all cry to God who compassionately responds to us
We should compassionately impart of our substance to those who stand in need. We are to do what we can when others are in need.

My reverence for thrift, self reliance and is as strong as any man's. God will help you in compassionate discipleship. Constantly look for ways to keep commandments.

We should pray for those in need.

Charity

Live the Law of the Fast
Fast for healing

Henry B Eyering

My hope is that we may all feel love and light.
Blessings of personal revelation
Stake presidents & bishops praying to try to find and help lost sheep
Revalation from God
We need a Constantly renewed stream
Continuing Blessing of Communication with God

Joseph asked of God & was given an answer
Revelation from God could be continuous
Revelation continues in the Church
The Individual for himself
The Father for his Family

Nephi's family viewed Lehi's dream as mental confusion
Nephi- I will go and do the things which the Lord has commanded me. Nephi had been blessed with confirming revelation that his Father's revelation was true.

The Revelation of a Parent has a lasting effect of confirming revelation to the child.

She prays that her words will come for the blessing of her child, that her words will be God's words.

I hope that I Go and do as she hoped I would. His Mother has been in the spirit world for more than 4 years.

Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly. The Holy Ghost will be your constant companion. The Gift of confirming revelation from the Holy Ghost. The holy ghost can touch a softened heart. 

 

Monday, August 11, 2014

Mental Health Challenges and Addictions are Real

Robin Williams R.I.P. to a Talented Actor and Comedian.

I first heard it on Facebook. Just a few minutes ago. My friend from England posted about it. I just, I was stunned. I had no words. The great Robin Williams, who gave millions of children a reason to laugh every day just from his one Role; "The Genie" in Aladdin. And he made adults laugh too. The way he would deliver lines and the many hilarious voices and impersonations he could do. It was just endless. I had no idea. He battled Depression? Really? A Billionare can battle Depression and Drug Abuse, Subtance Abuse and he can want to escape real life? He had a hard time with Drinking? Yes, everyone has their vices, their Pandora's Box. It doesn't matter if you are a Billionare, and you seemingly have the world at your fingertips- or you have the clothes on your back.

Addiction is real people. It is sad, but it is a real life story of this man. And many millions of unnamed others who do not seek help. Depression numbs you. I've had it. I've felt it. It can debilitate you, leave you in such a dark place that the lines are so blurred between reality and doom. The doom you are feeling, the emptiness you can feel is so stark and bleak, it is mentally real and conceivable. You can almost touch it. It's seemingly tangible.

You know what.  I have to say this, I've been in that dark place, I've almost succumbed to the darkness that says do it, end your life, what are you waiting for? It was years and years ago, I was 15. I was emotionally in a deep abyss. My parents were fighting, for hours on end. I couldn't sleep. I stayed up for hours outside their door, listening to them attack each other. Verbal Abuse. Crying. Yelling. Screaming. I heard it all.

The anxiety and fear, the depression and "what if's" that I had were unfathomable for most people at my age. I felt empty. My whole soul felt pointless. I wondered why I was here, if I had a future. If I would have a future like my parents' did at the time. I didn't want that. I wanted a happy family who never fought who never hurt one anothers' feelings. Let me tell you something. That's not reality. I wanted an ideal. Normal people have arguments. That's okay, it's how you argue and if you know when to stop and say sorry that is the issue. Back to my story.... I wanted a way to be rid of all the negativity that I was feeling at the time. I was too scared to reach for it to even try, so I thought about giving up. Really contemplated and planned how to give up. I was seconds away from taking my own life when I heard a voice in my head stop myself. What about my family? What about my future children? What about my future spouse? I was being utterly selfish. I wanted a way out that would hurt only me. Would taking my own life really only hurt me?

 When you are in that dark place you can't see clearly how that act will hurt all those who love you and who you cherish. Your reasoning systems are out of line you are in that deep dark cloud that overtakes you and oftentimes people are overcome by panic and by the darkness they feel. It is real inside them. Even if no one else can sense it. It hurts. It's hard to wake up and get going everyday. It's challenging to do mundane everyday tasks, that seem somewhat meaningless to sufferers with Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, and those with a huge list of possible Addictions. Addictions can be overcome! And So can Mental Health problems!You can take medication or a combination of medication and counseling to help treat you. You can have an amazing support system. You can go off medication and try to regulate yourself with vitamin and mineral supplements and herbs. You can go to AA Meetings, or 12 Step Programs that are Similar. You can talk to a Professional. You can talk to a loved one, or a willing friend. But, you know what- you can't go through this alone! You need love, you need support and you need EMPATHY. This pain is real. It's not imagined. It's not just in someone's head. It can be from real life experiences, time overseas in a war, or it can be from your childhood surroundings and others' poor choices, it can also be from your poor choices. Your pain can be from seemingly good decisions gone sour by someone else's actions.

But, you can get over this! Please do not succumb to the darkness- reach for the light. Reach for God, reach for your Spiritual Higher Power. Whatever you believe in. Lean on it. Rely on it. Reach for a Friends' hand. A Pastor's hand. A Teacher. But, please do not fall into the darkness! We want to lift you up into the light and carry you! Please let us help you!


So, when you read news reels like this; https://celebrity.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/robin-williams-dead-of-apparent-suicide-at-63-231414092.html

Please Don't Judge! I have personally been in the darkness and it is hard. It is sour. It is stark. And it is real. Our friend Robin is only human. He was overcome by so many things in life it seems. I hope no one else feels that way again! Please get help do not let darkness claim you!

Let me just explain that I am not saying the person or sufferer of Depression or Anxiety is Selfish- and I'm not shaming or blaming them. I'm saying the act hurts so many people- including themselves- and it is not the answer. It is a Tunnel Vision Way of thinking. Reasoning tells us that the act is not a solution in and of itself at all. It is more hurtful to themselves and all their loved ones and friends and the world- than they can imagine. This is not shaming them though or blaming, or calling them selfish. When one is in the deepest, darkest recesses of stark Depression- reasoning is not functioning clearly. Cause and Effect have not occurred to many in this state. The Blur of helplessness is ever surrounding you. Try to find a way out without harm. To remember love. To think of a true Friend. Remember God. Remember Family. Think of your Future Family, your Future Goals and Accomplishments. A Talent you have. Remember Hope. Try to think of a Happy Memory. Of your celebrated accomplishments. I know I can snap out of it because I have. It can be done. It is not an easy process. It takes time, understanding and hope. EMPATHY and LOVE. Reach for a Brighter tomorrow above the clouds of sadness. You can do it! Seek Help, don't suffer alone!
Let me help, I will listen.

The Stigma of Depression and Anxiety and Mental Health Problems needs to Dissapear. Depression doesn't Discriminate it can happen to anyone in any life situation at any time. Understanding, Education, love and empathy will help Suicide Prevention.



Mental Health Agencies in Utah Hotlines and Contact Info.

http://hope4utah.com/utah-mental-health-agencies/
http://hope4utah.com/support-groups/
http://twloha.com/faqs/general
http://www.namiut.org/families-caregivers/suicide-prevention

What is Psychosis?
http://www.nami.org/Content/NavigationMenu/First_Episode/About.htm#firstepabout_whatis


By C.B. Merkley August 11, 2014

Monday, July 28, 2014

Fear of Uncertainty and The Unknown Vs. Faith in Hope and What Can Be

Many of you who have known me for any length of time, probably have discovered how outgoing and spontaneous I can be. After I had my son, some of the spontaneity left as a result of needing routines and knowing what comes next. I can still love spur of the moment decisions & surprises as long as they are made responsibly and as safe as can be.  I have always been one to make  choices pretty fast. If it feels right or good, I do it. If it doesn't I try to stay away from that. I think of myself  as an efficient decision maker who tries to analyze enough to not waffle back and forth; yet, I try to see valid arguments on all sides.  I don't have to agree with all of my friends and family or Co-Workers in order to have a beneficial mutual relationship. In fact, I find it more helpful when I can disagree with someone, or even many people- on any religious, moral or even movie genre grounds; and we both feel so respected and valued, by one another that the difference in opinion & values becomes a strong point in our friendship. That's what I love about my country, The U.S.A., we value Religious Freedom, Freedom of Speech, and Freedom of the Press.

As of late my situation is changing in life, for the last 3 months we have been blessed greatly as my husband found an Internship in his field, and it was a paid Internship. We've been able to afford our Mortgage for 3 months now. As this is his last week of The Internship we are definitely at a Crossroads transition. I am hopeful and faithful that he will get the promotion and raise that he is hoping for. At the same time I am feeling pretty desperate that he really needs to get it, and I am also fearful and scared of what will happen if he does not get the promotion. Have you ever experienced all of these feelings at the same time? They are in conflict with each other. One is hope, faith and love- believing good things will happen. The other is fear, being scared or completely filled with fear that the undesirable outcome will be what happens. I can't help but think, that the fear in me, isn't really coming from me. I see the power of the Devil in dark thoughts. I know that I am a Brave, Successful Person and My husband is a Hard-Worker who will bring good things to our family.

Even if the undesired outcome should happen, I am well equipped to rise above the situation. I am a Teacher and I am a Substitute. I love to help others learn in this life. I know my contribution makes a difference in my own family and in my Community. I know Faith can overcome Fear. And Hope can Spring from Adversity.

As I apply for Pisitions for Fall, that I'm not sure I can work yet- because of not knowing my husband's work or school schedule yet- I know My Heavenly Father Loves me and is mindful of my challenges and hardships. I know every needful thing will come together for my Good. I am a Daughter of God, who loves me- I will not allow fear to overcome hope and faith.


Chelsea Merkley
July 2014

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

My Experience with Utah Voices

I wrote a brief overview of how amazing it was to sing in NYC with Utah Voices and shared fun photos from our trip back East!



Chelsea B. Merkley


Utah Voices Carnegie Hall Performer
2nd Soprano
June 22, 2014 

Thursday, June 12, 2014

The Family: A Proclamation to The World







I was 11 in 1995. President Hinckley was the Prophet of my Youth and I cried hard when he died. My parents were married in the temple in 1977 they were separated in 2003 and divorced soon after. There was much Verbal and Emotional Abuse between them in my family. I was their Counselor whom they did not listen to in their marriage. I tried to keep them together, and also questioned why sometimes they were both still in the relationship- if they were so unwilling to work with one another, and so unhappy with each other. Now, it seems the past is repeating itself- much to my shegrin.


I had no good example about what great marriage should be. Even though this warning came almost 8 years before their dissolution of marriage- since they were divorced my view of marriage has changed. I have been married 7 years now. We got married in 2007. My husband was then a hopeful man who was jovial and spontaneous as I was. We had dreams, and hoped for bright futures ahead. Since he thought he went into the wrong field of work for 4 years, right after we were married his hopefulness and jovialness subsided. We as a couple, became more complacent and not as happy. We decided he should quit his job, and find a new one immediately that he loved! I wanted him to be happy in his work. I wanted it to mean something to him, that he did what he loved. I didn't know it would take almost 3 years for him to find it! I worked for 3 years and our savings has been very much depleted.

 I wanted my marriage to be everything that my parents wasn't; kind, helpful, sweet, soft-spoken, praiseworthy and lovely. I kind of wanted to spite them, to show my marriage could be all the things that theirs wasn't. To show that my future, has nothing to do with their past.  No fighting and no I hate you, or bad words being tossed around and yelling and raised voices at one another like my parents did. Unfortunately, it has not been everything I wanted and hoped for. Due to the stress and finance problems we've had- having had a husband not find work for almost 3 years and make a huge career and school change; has been extremely hard. Finding out I can't have more children right now, or for the past 4 and a half almost 5 years- has been the worst part of it. Almost 3 DNC's later and still cannot get pregnant. Intimacy means little now without procreation. It should mean more to me. It should mean that I like my husband and want to be with him, that we are unified; but we are not unified in most things, and being broken- I don't want really to be touched until I can get traded in for new parts; or figure out why I can't have kids and fix it once and for all!  But, It just means that i'm broken and can't be fixed. It really breaks my heart. 
So many emotions right now. Sorry for not sharing the details you wanted.  I am very blessed to have 1 son who is almost 6, I cherish him! I hope that my future and my son's future will be brighter than my parents'.

My Parents cannot be in the same room with one another without feeling some animosity towards one another. Or at least one towards the other. Their Grandchildren will not be able to have them at Weddings, Graduations, Birthday Parties, and Mission Farewells together with other Family Members, without feeling like their is great tension in the air. This is just heart breaking. I want my son to know all his Grandparents. I wish they could just get along with one another and not rob their Grandchildren of a lifestyle of love between families regardless of unwanted outcomes or results. 

Regardless of my future in my current relationship, I want my son and any other children I am blessed to have in the future know- that they should have a relationships with all their parents and never feel like they have to choose between one or the other. Mutual Civility should be practiced between Exes with Children. That is what I have to say about the issues between Exes and their Ex-Spouses! Grow Up!

There was a time immediately after my parents separation that I questioned why to ever get married at all, let alone in the Temple of The Lord. I was told all my life that I should prepare to marry in the Temple, and be with my husband forever! Does anyone see oppositional opinions co-existing here? So, my parents want me to get married in the temple; but, what did their Temple Marriage mean to them? They decided to divorce and be the dissolution of their marriage. Wouldn't that naturally make me want to question why in the world would I marry in the first place? Or why did they marry? Was I a mistake? An Accident? Should I go on believing and living like nothing happened to them? Like we area ll just hunky dory happy, and Families are Together Forever? My parents broke their Covenants to one another and God. Whether their was infidelity or not, their was not to my knowledge, they stopped being concerned about the other person. They started being selfish. They didn't want to make the other persons day better, they wanted to make their own day better. They made marriage about individual fulfillment and human rights. Not about cherishing and loving one another and being loving and unified, compromising and saying sorry. Maybe that's what my problem is- I'm too worried about what I'm getting out of it- that what I'm putting into it.

My parents still claim that Temple Marriage is a wonderful thing. Which, it is, and can be. Any marriage whether temple or not- should feel like a Sacred Union between Two People, with the Higher Power at the Top- and the Couple keeping their commitments to one another and their children and their God, or Higher Power.

When marriage feels like a trap, like you are alone in a crowded room with no one to help you and no one who cares- then you are in trouble. I have felt depressed lately due to many changes in our lives. I am no longer working and my husband is, he's finally working yay! After almost 3 years of unemployment he got a job last month!!!!! YAAAAAAY! I'm so proud of him for getting an Internship!!!!! He is not sure of his future in the company and his internship is over August 1. A lot of the discord comes from the unknown, not knowing what will happen in the near future.

 He expects dinner right when he gets home and he doesn't want it cooked in the Slow Cooker or the Crock Pot. So, I  make Grilled Cheeses or something that is from the freezer like a Chicken Pasta Meal, and lately I tell him he can make it himself, because when I cook he doesn't like it. He's a a better cook than me most of the time anyways. And then because he's hungry and tired and overworked- we get into "battles" as my son calls them. Not a healthy word for a 5 year old boy. 

I am going to make dinner now, maybe it will make my husband happier.
Chelsea Merkley