Monday, July 28, 2014

Fear of Uncertainty and The Unknown Vs. Faith in Hope and What Can Be

Many of you who have known me for any length of time, probably have discovered how outgoing and spontaneous I can be. After I had my son, some of the spontaneity left as a result of needing routines and knowing what comes next. I can still love spur of the moment decisions & surprises as long as they are made responsibly and as safe as can be.  I have always been one to make  choices pretty fast. If it feels right or good, I do it. If it doesn't I try to stay away from that. I think of myself  as an efficient decision maker who tries to analyze enough to not waffle back and forth; yet, I try to see valid arguments on all sides.  I don't have to agree with all of my friends and family or Co-Workers in order to have a beneficial mutual relationship. In fact, I find it more helpful when I can disagree with someone, or even many people- on any religious, moral or even movie genre grounds; and we both feel so respected and valued, by one another that the difference in opinion & values becomes a strong point in our friendship. That's what I love about my country, The U.S.A., we value Religious Freedom, Freedom of Speech, and Freedom of the Press.

As of late my situation is changing in life, for the last 3 months we have been blessed greatly as my husband found an Internship in his field, and it was a paid Internship. We've been able to afford our Mortgage for 3 months now. As this is his last week of The Internship we are definitely at a Crossroads transition. I am hopeful and faithful that he will get the promotion and raise that he is hoping for. At the same time I am feeling pretty desperate that he really needs to get it, and I am also fearful and scared of what will happen if he does not get the promotion. Have you ever experienced all of these feelings at the same time? They are in conflict with each other. One is hope, faith and love- believing good things will happen. The other is fear, being scared or completely filled with fear that the undesirable outcome will be what happens. I can't help but think, that the fear in me, isn't really coming from me. I see the power of the Devil in dark thoughts. I know that I am a Brave, Successful Person and My husband is a Hard-Worker who will bring good things to our family.

Even if the undesired outcome should happen, I am well equipped to rise above the situation. I am a Teacher and I am a Substitute. I love to help others learn in this life. I know my contribution makes a difference in my own family and in my Community. I know Faith can overcome Fear. And Hope can Spring from Adversity.

As I apply for Pisitions for Fall, that I'm not sure I can work yet- because of not knowing my husband's work or school schedule yet- I know My Heavenly Father Loves me and is mindful of my challenges and hardships. I know every needful thing will come together for my Good. I am a Daughter of God, who loves me- I will not allow fear to overcome hope and faith.

Chelsea Merkley
July 2014

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